I’m terrified of bad dates. The urge to find someone to vibe with is diminished after considering the type of dates I have to go on.
Don’t get me wrong, I am a pretty basic girl. I can consider a good blunt walk a date. But if that blunt walk never results in a proper, sit down date, then I don’t know how interested I can remain. For as much as women can be low maintenance, some men will really try to go lower.
But I digress. I know men deal with horrible women. Hell, I have been the horrible woman that some men have had to deal with. And yet I am hopeful. Dating isn’t a competition, it isn’t a sport, it’s an experience, and I hope to enjoy it.
Then I remember the times I found myself at any one of the many gentrified bars in Pilsen. Drinking down some silly drink that has too much hibiscus and politely nodding to jokes that I just can’t laugh at. In Carrie fashion, I constantly found myself ready to ditch this bozo and reach for the emergency stash in my purse.
I genuinely hated that part of the date. The part where I have to confidently explain my cannabis consumption. When the reaction is never a pleasant one, whether they also smoke or not. I just want the date who won’t have to nervously laugh, or present an excuse. The kind that’s like “oh hey I smoke too” and that’s the end of that. No further explanations needed.
I am never going to make cannabis consumption a personality trait. It is my habit, my ritual, my personal choice. Bringing it up on the first date is just simple transparency.
But how can I be prepared for the multitude of reactions I get? How can I communicate my consumption in a way that will be polite and digestible? Where I can still be seen as a respectful woman despite smoking blunts? There are so many prejudgments, so many pre-formed opinions.
As with every experience in my life, I let my integrity lead. As a respectful woman who smokes blunts, I speak about it without a negative tone. I confidently convey my consumption, without a hint of guilt. Because there is none.
Oddly enough, my dating history is littered with non smokers. Which is not surprising. Smoking is a personal experience that I enjoy alone. A ritual that I have fine tuned. Sure, I enjoy social smoking. But my daily life is much different, and it’s hard to incorporate another person into something so personal.
I don’t like being judged for when and how much I smoke. I like being able to consume without having to worry about how it’s affecting another person. Cause I ain’t going NOWHERE without hitting the blunt first.
When I have dated smokers, I always felt some sort of expectation. A burden of being unable to smoke when and how I like. I don’t need anyone to roll my blunts or grind my weed. I just need someone who will allow me my ritual without their own expectations. Without having to change my ritual for the sake of “togetherness”.
There is so much more to me than my consumption, but somehow weed always takes the front seat.
But I guess that’s life. It won’t matter that I am a smart, feisty, beautiful woman. A blogger, former fiance, weekend bandit, acid reflux sufferer. None of these things will matter. Because once I mention weed, that’s where the focus will be.
This isn’t the first time I’ve been single, or the last date I’ve been on. But something about being single again this time feels massively different. I am very much in my post - Aiden Shaw era. Not fully healed, but fully embracing moving forward. I hope it’s a good ride.
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